Waiting has never really been my forte. I’m not good at it. I don’t like to wait. It feels so…so inefficient. If I’m going to wait, I want to do something productive in the meantime. Just tonight, as I waited for my water to boil for my green beans, I brainstormed what I could do in the meantime. Productivity is key, right? I chose to vacuum my living room.
I know what it is to put life on turbo speed. I know what it’s like to want things now! I also know what it is to have to wait on the Lord. However, waiting on the Lord is not always easy. It requires patience. Patience I do not have.
I have been taking some time to sift through the archives of our personal blog, and I found an article that was posted at Crosswalk entitled: Waiting for Patience. Reading it was both convicting and encouraging.
Why is patience so hard for us? Why do we want what we want, right when we want it? Why can’t we be content to sit back and trust the Lord’s timing over our own anxiety and urgency?
I believe it all goes back to control. Having patience means surrendering control of our lives to Jesus, the ultimate Timekeeper. It means saying “I’ll wait for You, Lord, because I trust You.” And that’s hard to do. It’s difficult not knowing what will happen. We live in a world that operates by plans, lists, details, and organization. How can we plan or make a list or organize if we don’t know what’s coming? If we don’t know what to expect?
It’s simple: we can’t. That’s where trust comes in. And you can’t have trust without first surrendering control.
Right now, I am waiting on the Lord to answer several prayer requests. Oftentimes, I find myself wondering if he hears me, or is he off waiting on someone else-answering their prayers. Some things are trivial matters-in the grand scheme of things. Others are quite significant-at least to me. I am not seeing a lot of movement forward. To be honest, I feel like for every step forward I take, it’s two gigantic steps back that is required of me. It’s hard. Really hard. Nevertheless, I must relinquish control. Unfortunately, I’m scared that when I let go, God may not give me what I want.
While thinking this through today, James 4 came to mind. I’ll leave you with it to ponder. I’m still pondering.
You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.