Today, we have a guest post from Alina of Good Old Days Farm.
Has your husband ever done something that made you think, “This is it. He has fully, completely lost his mind!” Mine did.
Back in 2010, my husband was a software engineer. We wanted to raise our children in the country, so we had moved to a tiny town north of Dallas. He would drive 75 minutes to work every morning and 75 minutes home every night supporting us while I stayed home with our three young children. This meant that he would leave the house at 5 am and come home around 9 pm in order to beat the traffic.
It also meant that he left so early and came home so late that sometimes several days would go by when he only saw the children as he tiptoed into their rooms to kiss their already-sleeping heads goodnight. Sometimes they didn’t see their Daddy for days on end. It was a sacrifice, but he was doing what it took to support his family. A good, steady, dependable man.
So it came as a complete shock when this good, steady, dependable man came home one night and said, “Alina Joy, you all live in the country. I live in the city, and I only sleep in the country. I’m going to quit my job and become a farmer.”
Whoa! You’re kidding right? I mean, wait just a minute here! Farmers don’t make any money. Software engineers make lots of money. This is too stupid to be funny!
Now, I know we’re in the middle of the Surrendered Marriage Challenge here at Intentional By Grace, so, I would really like to tell you that I sweetly said, “Honey, if the Lord is leading you to become a farmer, that is perfectly alright with me.” Yes, that is what I would like to tell you I said, but that wouldn’t be true. In honor of the whatsoever-things-are-lovely-
I was already a surrendered wife – as long as things went my way. Surely, the Lord would understand how crazy this idea was. He wouldn’t expect me to surrender to this, right?
Ladies, let me tell you…. Yes, we took a huge pay cut. Yes, over the next 2 years we suffered a serious drought and the only thing our farm actually produced was a nifty little blog! Yes, it was a huge adjustment to go from having a husband who was hardly ever home to having a husband who was always home. And yes, it has been so worth it!
It’s been worth it, but it hasn’t been easy.
I have had to ask God to help me see my husband the way God sees my husband.
I have had to stop praying, “Lord, change him” and start praying, “Lord, change me and my responses.”
I have had to learn that my imperfect timing (“right now!”) doesn’t give the Holy Spirit the opportunity to work in His perfect timing.
I have learned that taking my problems to others changes nothing. Taking my problems to God changes everything.
I have learned that Lord is just waiting to bless me, even when I don’t deserve it. When I am at the end of my rope is when He pours those blessings out most abundantly and in the most surprising ways.
I have learned that God is blessing me, whether I see it or not. Being happy is a choice. Do I choose to foster a spirit of contentment or a spirit of discontent?
One of the first days after my husband began farming we were all outside. Our children were 5, 3 and 1 years old. We spent the day together working to get the gardens in. Even the children had hoes and shovels and were doing their best to “help.” Still not convinced that this whole farming-thing was a good idea, at the end of the day I had to admit to myself that it had been a good day. “Wow!” I thought to myself. “This really is nice. One day we’ll look back and say, ‘Remember when the children were little and we were all home working together? That was so nice. Those were the good old days…’” Then it hit me! We are living the “good old days” right now! Are we spending our time enjoying them or are we fussing because life isn’t perfect?
And so we named our farm “The Good Old Days Farm”… as a reminder that today is the gift we will be reminiscing about tomorrow.
What will you do to make today something worth remembering tomorrow (even when you think your hubby has gone off the deep end)?
Alina Joy Dubois is wife and mother to a vegan, gluten free family. The family moved out into the country and her husband recently quit a career in software to open the “Good Old Days Farm” in Blue Ridge, Texas. They grow fruit, vegetables and herbs, raise honeybees and make handcrafted soap. To follow the goings-on of the farm, please visit the Good Old Days Farm.
This post is linked to Time Warp-Wife.