You don’t want to hear, “Enjoy this moment” or “They grow up fast” or “Just you wait until you don’t have them” or you fill in the blank.
Those aren’t words that are actually helpful to those of us who are in this season.
They come, of course, from well meaning moms who have gone before us. Rarely are the words shared to shame us, but in the end, that’s what it does.
At least it does me.
I need to breathe from time-to-time, and I need to know someone gets it. That they’ve been there. That they understand that it’s hard.
Not brush me off and give me horror stories of when they were raising children. Or tell me that I will miss feeling less than human as I care for little children who need me every second of every day.
Moms who aren’t in the trenches, we need you.
We need you to remember how hard it is, and we need you to remind us that this too shall pass.
We need you to remember that this season wasn’t all rainbows and bubbles.
It was poop stains and dried oatmeal.
It was dirty bathrooms and midnight visitors.
It was snotty noses and the rare shower in peace.
It was hard.
A different kind of hard than anything we’ll ever experience again.
“I know life may be very overwhelming right now. I know sometimes you just want to throw your hands up in the air and cry.
I know that you sometimes tell God that you don’t know what He was thinking when He made you a mother.
(I promise you…He knew exactly what He was doing when He picked you to mother your children!)
I know that sometimes you feel frumpy and lonely and at your wit’s end.
It will get better.
I made it. And you will, too! ”
God has designed our lives to come in seasons.
Children are a blessing and a reward. Children are worth being exhausted for. Children are worth never having hot coffee or an adult conversation.
My children are 100% welcome into my life, and they are 100% worth it.
I want to raise them every day to know and love the Lord and to enjoy life. To enjoy the season they are in!
I want them to soak in the freedom and innocence of childhood. I want them to explore and discover and learn new things every day.
One day my son will no longer hold my hand to cross the road.
One day he will wipe his own hiney and cut his own food.
He’ll order for himself at the restaurant and make food choices all by himself.
He’ll have thoughts that he won’t share with me and eventually his own house and family to provide for.
So yes, our children will grow up. We might even miss various parts of our children’s childhood.
The cute way they say “November no 22nd” and “panAcakes” and use big words they aren’t ready for like “that made me exhausted” when they really meant happy.
We’re nostalgic by nature. We’re called to remember and tell of God’s faithfulness by command.
But it’s hard. Right now it’s hard.
Babies don’t keep.
They do grow up, and yes, we might even miss parts of their childhood.
I am so grateful for mentors and women in my life who meet me where I’m at. I’m thankful for women who’ve moved past the season of babies and toddlers and remember … and encourage me to hang in there.
Moms who aren’t in the trenches, we need you. We need you to tell us to savor this season. We need you to remind us that this time is fleeting. We need you to remind us that we might, in fact, miss this season.
But also need you to acknowledge that it’s hard.