With your first baby, they tell you to give it six weeks. Six weeks before you will feel normal again. Six weeks before you will have breastfeeding under control. Six weeks before you start exercising again. Six weeks before you can return back to, your now new, normal.
Six weeks.
With your second, they tell you to give it six weeks before you determine if the older sibling is adjusting or not. Six weeks before you will know if your first child will act out. Six weeks before you have being a mom of two under control.
Six weeks.
In the last weeks of pregnancy, I cried a lot. I wasn’t sad that I was having another baby. Of course not. But I was scared. I was scared of losing that bond with my first, the one who made me a mother. I loved my first fiercely. I knew his world was about to be forever altered and it scared me. He was too young to understand what was coming. We tried to prepare him. We talked about the baby, and he went to the midwife appointments. He listened to the baby’s heartbeat and felt the baby move within me. I showed him the clothes and the blankets. He helped me fold the burp cloths. We told him what a great big brother he was going to be. And we prayed. A lot.
The six weeks post baby have come and gone. According to what “they” say, we can sort of know how our second is adjusting.
And I count my blessings everyday.
Samuel is the perfect big brother. He loves his little brother with all his heart. He hugs and kisses his brother everyday. He gently strokes baby brother’s head. He whispers “shhhhh…” in his ear when he cries. He offers the pacifier and a hand to hold when little brother is sad. He wipes our baby’s mouth when he has had too much milk. He joyfully takes his brother’s diapers to the pail. He reads him stories and tells him what he knows about God.
Not once. And I mean not once has Samuel showed an ounce of jealousy toward his brother. We see glimpses of frustrations every once in a while, but it’s not because Timothy is his brother. It’s been when Sam’s not sure how to get his point across. We teach through those moments. But in those moments, Sam says he’s sorry. His tender heart shines through.
Everyday grace. My first. The one who made me a mother. He makes me proud. He shows me Jesus everyday in the way he loves his brother without end.
This post is part of 31 Days of Everyday Grace series. You can see all the posts here.
I’m so glad to hear that Samuel is adjusting so well! I never heard of the 6-week thing for sibling adjustment. It took about 18 months or so until I saw EB get jealous of Mags (aka the time when she started wanting to play with her toys 😉 ). EB and Mags still think Hannah is just the sweetest little thing ever (which she is!). It should be interesting to see how they react when she gets old enough to want to play with their things. We keep them all 3 in the same room to teach them to share everything.
They do teach us so much about Christ!
I’m so glad Sam’s transition has gone so well! Titus was the same adjustment wise. We only ever saw jealousy when Rya started hitting milestones like rolling over or crawling. But he never acted out because of it. He would just say “look I can do it too!” Definitely makes adding to your family a little easier when the older child transitions easily. I’m not sure how Rya will transition this time around…but she will survive it!! 🙂 I love this series by the way!! Definitely challenging my perspective!!
That was beautiful, thank you for sharing!
This is super precious! Glad you guys are adjusting so well!
Thanks, Aprille!