I have a problem. I don’t like to wait for anything. I expect instant access. I expect to get what I want when I want it and on my terms.

A few days ago, I awoke to the shower running and no coffee brewing. Mark. How dare he? How dare he take a shower before making my coffee? He knows I like my coffee the minute I open my eyes. Why on earth did he not make it before he got in the shower?

I tripped my way into the kitchen. I cleaned the coffee pot while letting the water run a few extra seconds for good measure. Refilled the carafe, added some beans, and punched the on button. Within minutes, I had a cup of coffee in one hand and my Bible in the other.

Upon taking my first sip, I remembered why Mark is the coffe-maker in our house. Mark makes amazing coffee. It’s perfect in every way, and mine? It tastes more like sludge than coffee. I’m a terrible coffee-maker. I should have just waited for him to make it.

In that moment, I wondered to myself about how often I get ahead of God’s plans. I rush ahead, doing this and that, only to discover that if I had just put on the Fruit of the Spirit patience, and trusted God’s timing, things would have turned out far differently.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

To genuinely trust God, I must relinquish control, believe that He is good, and rely completely on Christ.

Right now, we on the tail end of our travel across the country. I have no idea what to expect in the days ahead. But I can tell you this. I’m not making coffee, and I’m trusting the Lord to provide everything we need in this enormous transition.

Don’t forget! There is still time to sign up for The Surrendered Marriage Challenge. Register here!

Sometimes, things are just hard. Sometimes, everything around me just feels out of place and chaotic. Sometimes, I just wish I could crawl into a closet, plug my ears, and sing Jesus Loves Me until the cows come home.

Recently, the hard days have far outweighed the easy days. The days filled with tears take first place in my mind while the days filled with laughter feel like a distant memory.

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5b

In my own strength, I am failing. In my own strength, I fail to believe God’s promises, and I fail to rest beneath His wings. Sure, I am in His eternal rest, Heaven, because of the blood of Christ, but I am not able to experience His earthly, spiritual rest that He has offered me because I’m working out of my own strength.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:10

Join me over at Quick and Easy, Cheap and Healthy where I share more about this earthly rest that God desires for us. Anne’s in the middle of a Women’s Wellness series and has asked me to share about the spiritual wellness of women. Join me? {Click here to read more}

The wind swirls causing little wisps of hair to fall across her face. The sun beats down warming the moist cold enveloping the early morning. The lone goose flies low over the water looking for breakfast. Black, long legs of a dog stretch as he begins the morning ventures into the dew covered grass. She sips her coffee and breathes, sucking in the air in long gulps, willing herself to relax, breathe.

She recalls the evening before. Her words cut like a knife. The plate shattered in frustration. The milk jug on its side pouring white liquid across the dining room table, a testament to an evening gone terribly wrong.

How did they get here?

How did she get here?

Lord, I know that a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1). Yet, it never fails. He says that one thing, the thing that bothers me the most, and I answer quickly and in sin.

Why? Why can’t I control my tongue (James 3)?

And these kids. Oh, the kids. So many of them. They wear on me all day. They nag and question and disobey. They take every ounce of energy I have.

I am such a failure, a disappointment. The very people I love, my actions condemn.

This has been my life song and verse these last couple of weeks (obviously a few details vary). What a battle it is to fight for joy among the chaos. What a battle it is to trust the Lord when the going gets tough. What a battle it is when your back aches from lifting a clingy child, and your eyes burn from the many tears shed.

But then I remember, God is not ashamed to be called my God. He is committed to me. He is pleased with me. My efforts and even failures do not change His everlasting love for me. As my circumstances consume more and more of me, I am tempted to revert to self-sufficiency and works-based righteousness. Yet, God calls me to lay it at the foot of the Cross. To allow Him to walk with me, carrying me where He must, and trust Him – lean fully into His loving embrace.

Do you wonder if you disappoint? Then, be encouraged. God is not ashamed of you! He is not disappointed in you. Lean into Him today. He wants to hear from you!

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. ~Psalm 62:8

 What do you need to lay aside today and trust that you are made clean?

By the way, if you’re enjoying this post, please consider subscribing to my blog.

This post is linked to Sharing His Beauty, Mommy Monday, The Better Mom, Simply Living for Him, and Miscellany Monday.

She lies in her bed. Her hair once a vibrant red is now gray. The skin that once radiated with youth is replaced by wrinkles proclaiming the years she has endured. She reflects and ponders the days gone by, and remembers with regret, there were many things she wishes she had done differently.

For some of us, this will be our last thoughts before we leave this world.

I wish I had done _________ (you fill in the blank).

What’s the answer to avoiding this sad scenario? Pursue intentional living.

For some, living intentionally often becomes synonymous with legalism  -changing what God intended as a means of experiencing grace into a means of earning grace (Living the Cross Centered Life, pg  115).

However, I like to think of living intentionally as a means by which we place ourselves in the path of God’s grace so that we can fully experience His grace. Who doesn’t want more grace, right?

In short, living intentionally is the pursuit of holiness. It is the pursuit of godliness. I want to be like Christ. And, I want to change the world. I really do.

Sure, I am a stay-at-home wife and mom – arguably the best job in all the earth. However, contrary to popular belief, my dreams did not die when I came home from my office job. My dreams have only just begun. I am pursuing ambitions that only God could have implanted in my soul. I want to create a home that makes it impossible to not think about God. That’s a tall order, but I’m chasing it, pursuing it, and embracing it.

Here at Intentional By Grace, I want to help you look back on your life lived with joy and gladness. I don’t want any regrets or what ifs. We may not remember everything we have done, but we will remember what we failed to do.

I am passionate about spurring you on to live intentionally so that when you get to the end of your earthly road you see the glorious grace and mercy you have received. I am passionate about helping you to praise God with all your heart. I am passionate about helping you live intentionally so you can look back at your life and say,

“It is finished. I did all I could do. I regret nothing.”

To borrow the words of Mark Batterson from his book, In a Pit With a Lion On a Snowy Day:

Our ultimate destiny is determined by whether or not we seize the God-ordained opportunities presented to us. If we seize those opportunities, the dominoes continue to fall and create a chain reaction. But if we miss those opportunities, we short-circuit God’s plan for our lives. That doesn’t mean we should live in fear that we’ll somehow miss the will of God. He’ll keep giving us second and third and fourth chances.

Forty years after a felony made Moses a fugitive, God reopened the door of opportunity and gave him a second chance. The grace of God has no expiration date. God will keep opening doors of opportunity as long as we live. But I don’t want to delay the process forty years, do you? Life is too short. I want to seize the opportunity the first time it is presented (page 128).

God is writing our story. He is ordaining our days. He is calling us to fully experience all that He has for us. But for some us, we will miss it because we’re so caught up in what is comfortable, normal, and routine that we fail to seize not just our days but our lives; thus missing our opportunity to change the world.

I am not writing a recipe for an easy life, or a life that will actually end without regrets. I’m  not talking about setting up a list of do’s and dont’s. And I’m certainly not telling you that all moms have to do it the same way. So, don’t get distracted by that.

What I am saying is that God has given us one life to live. We only have one chance to raise our children. We only have one chance to love our husbands well. We only have one chance to make a lasting imprint.

By the way, if you’re enjoying this post, please consider subscribing to my blog.

Are you going to miss your opportunity to change the world?

This post is linked to Time-Warp Wife and Women Living Well.

This post contains my referral links. Please see my disclosure policy here.

His head barely reaches the top of the arms of the couch. He stands on tip-toe waving his sword – also known as a ball point pen – in surrender. I assume it’s surrender for he immediately fell over on the floor.

He’s learning to balance, to walk. Yet, he doesn’t yet trust his abilities. To let go of his trusted, immovable object would mean he has to step out on his own, but yet, he is not ready. He is not ready for that leap of faith, that act of courage.

Today, I’m posting over at 3in30 Challenge about taking baby steps to achieve our goals. I use a descriptive, and relateable, example of what this looks like for us in every day life. {Click over to continue reading…}

By the way, if you’re enjoying this post, please consider subscribing to my blog.

What would life be like if I feared God above all else? What if I became a “yes wife” and a “yes mom”? What if I chose to smile at the matchbox cars at the foot of my bed, diapers littering the bathroom floor, and the apples slices stuck to the wall like magnets? What if I hummed as I did the dishes? What if I wrapped my chipped fingernails around the little socks that are always unmatched? What if I turned toward my husband instead of away when he tells me I’m beautiful?

What if?

During the Christmas break, we bundled up in our winter garb – sometimes right over our pajamas – and walked around in God’s glorious creation. On one of our outings,  in the middle of a vacant field, on a lonely branch, sat the most magnificent cardinal. It’s fiery, red feathers stuck out as if someone decided to run stark naked through the field.

I couldn’t help but think of the vulnerability and the beauty entwined together in that moment. That bird in all its beauty was completely vulnerable. It was the only thing my eye could see. It was the only thing my eye wanted to see.

As we passed, I was reminded of our vulnerability and our nakedness before God. Just as that bird rested courageously on the bare branches of a maple tree, we must rest in all our nakedness in the arms of our Father.

I must relinquish all control. I must give up on efficiency. I must give in to a slower pace. I must revel in the moments of quiet, and I must be exhilarated by the moments of chaos. To sit at the table instead of standing at the counter for each meal would ensure a moment to savor. I must sprawl across the living room floor and let my little boy crawl all over me.

But more than that I must sit at the feet of Jesus. I must wallow in His word. I must drink His promises. I must hold fast to His truths.

May we be willing to sit stark naked on the branches of God’s promises this year.

By the way, if you’re enjoying this post, please consider subscribing to my blog.

This post is linked to Homemakers Challenge.

photo credit