This post is written by contributing writer, Jen from This Gal’s Journey.
The days of a mother are chock full of all kinds of things. We are responsible for providing for every one of our children’s needs. We are tasked with training them in all things; to become responsible members of society, to love God, and walk with Him daily.
It’s a full.time.job, to say the very least.
And yet…
No matter how many stories you read, crusts you cut off sandwiches, basketball games you watch, diapers you change, bottles you wash, or snuggles you give, it will never be enough.
Those are all great things a mother does, and should do!
But the very best thing a mother can do is to love her children’s father well.
Photo by Summer Skyes 11
Every marriage has its ups and downs. That’s why that whole “for better or worse” thing is in the vows we take!
Until recently, my marriage had been in a valley time. We were in a pit, so to speak. But by the grace of God, we are climbing out of it. The really exciting thing is that we are climbing together. Our priorities have realigned to where they should be. We have done tons and tons of reading of books, articles, and blogs that are specific to marriage (I had previously been reading “mommy blogs” almost exclusively). We have learned some things as we re-start this journey together, and I’d like to share them with you now.
Love him. Love him deeply and truly. Love him selflessly.
Remember the little things you did for him when you were dating – just because they made him smile! Do them again!
Set aside time each week to be together, just you and him. To snuggle, talk, watch a movie… whatever. 
Pick a day that is your date day and protect that time! You don’t have to go out to have a date, either! Have a picnic in the living room after the kiddos are in bed. Snuggle and watch a movie together… like, actually together. As in next to each other on the same couch – with no electronic devices. Read a book together and discuss it. Be creative! {Check out 42 Date Night Ideas or this really fun Date Night-In idea for more ideas}
Share in each other’s hobbies. Even if you’re not crazy about curling and polo, but he is, watch it with him! Better yet, find a hobby you both enjoy that you can do together!
Make physical intimacy a priority. I know, I know. We hear this all the time. But seriously, gals, its a biggie. Intimacy works in a cycle. You need to feel loved and appreciated in order to feel like being intimate… he needs to be intimate in order to feel loved and appreciated! But the more you come together, the more those needs will be met for the both of you, and the cycle will continue in a positive direction!
Above all, make time with God a priority! The more you let Him love you fully, the more fully you can love your husband. And the better you love your husband, the better mom you are going to be! After all, what better gift can you give your kids than the example, stability, and firm foundation of a strong, healthy, loving marriage?
Are you a single mom? The same ideals hold true for you! First of all, pour the first of your energy into your relationship with God! You cannot pour out into your kids until you are filled up with His strength. Secondly, if your child(ren)’s father is still in the picture, set a good example of continuing to show respect to his position as their father. No matter what issues are there, do not let them vent from you in front of or within earshot of your kiddos. You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship with their father in order to love him as Christ does.
So, mama, love your man well. Let your kids see and hear you love him! Speak words of praise to him and about him to your kids.
How do you love your man?
Shared with Women Living Well, Wifey Wednesday, We are THAT Family
About Jen Deibel
Great post Jen! What are some of the marriage blogs you visit?
Hi, Kendra! Thanks!! Some of my faves are:
http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
http://thegenerouswife.com (and generous husband.com!)
http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com
http://hotholyhumerous.blogspot.com
http://themarriagebed.com
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
Love this! My husband and I are coming out of a valley season as well. It’s always a good reminder to do the little things you used to do or make space for a day that’s just for the two of you. We are doing both of these things, learning to speak one another’s love languages, and I think we are both starting to feel stronger in our marriage than we ever have before!
Ally, I’m so happy to hear how you and your hubby are working together to renew the heart of your marriage! The love language thing is huge!! Thanks for sharing!
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
Great post! We also had a year of being in a valley – realized just how much we were on our way out of it when we got away for 4 days by ourselves and I began to thiink about all the reasons I enjoyed being with him. Thanks for sharing the blogs on marriage as well!
Linda recently posted..Endings and Beginnings
Oh, how great to get that time away!! It’s amazing how much good it really does; how it breathes some fresh air into our marriages!
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
Thanks for writing this. I feel a call to write more about marriage, but have yet to do it.
I think one of the less obvious ways to love our husbands is to be generous with their time. As a stay-home mom of six kids, it is very easy for me to feel like he gets way more than his share of time away from the kids because he works. But that’s just it–he’s working. He needs time with friends (ideally men with similar values) and to pursue his interests and I need to encourage that with a cheerful attitude. This has made a difference for us–we both feel like we are getting time with each other and with our friends.
That’s a great word! My hubs works from home, so that’s a whole different dynamic in itself as well. It amazes me how easily I tend to become the martyr when it comes to his time out to refresh, hang out with friends, etc.
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
THANK YOU for sharing this. It feels like we are kind of in the valley with another baby on the way and other life trials, but I can say it’s more me than him and I appreciate the reminder. I am trying so hard to be a good mother and raise godly children that I forget -DAILY that he needs to be important. Okay that’s a lie- I don’t forget. I’ve just justified not making our marriage/him a priority. Thanks for the gentle nudge. Since I just found your site yesterday, I know I was meant to read this. God bless.
(((hugs))) Blessings as you prepare for another sweet baby in your home. I know this is a crazy, often tough, time for families. It’s impossible to do this all in your own power. Plant yourself at His feet and let His love flow through you.
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
Good post! Thanks for your honesty and the reminder for all of us to invest the time and effort into our primary relationships. Just out of curiosity, where are you in Ireland? My husband was a missionary /pastor in Ireland for 19 years. We just returned to the States last week!
Thanks! We are on the far west coast.
Hope your transition back to the States is going well!
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
I found this so encouraging. Oh how I love my man, but sometimes in the business of life I fail to intentionally show it to him or show my love for him to my kids. Thank you for the beautiful reminder and great ideas!
Heather @ Cultivated Lives recently posted..Peekaboo and Bilateral Integration…
I’m so glad this was encouraging for you!
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
These are great ideas! It’s so easy to forget about our husbands when our children demand so much time and energy.
Anne @ Quick and Easy Cheap and Healthy recently posted..What Spelt Is, Why You Should Use It, How to Use It, and Where to Buy It
Yes, that is my biggest struggle. It’s a bit easier now that no one is breast feeding, but they demand so much energy it’s hard to reserve the “firsts” of energy for hubs!
Jen Deibel recently posted..An Epiphany…of Love
Love this Jen…
We just decided to set aside Wednesday nights.
In fact…we even signed Lydi up for Awanas (no shame in free babysitting–right?) so that we can just have and hour and 15 minutes to go for a walk together or go grab a cup of coffee. The “big kids” can now stay home alone…image that? I couldn’t for the longest time.
I’m so so SO excited!
But in order to carve out that time, we had to say no to 2 different serving opportunities. In the past, I would’ve felt guilty about that…but God is using us in other ways…and I’m learning that is a good thing to keep our marriage a priority. Love ya friend! Great post!
Kara@ The Chuppies recently posted..Our Thriving Home?
That’s so great, Kara! It’s amazing how we can’t truly be a blessing to others until things are strong and square at home! Good for you guys for keeping first things first!
Jen Deibel recently posted..A Worldwide Sisterhood
Thanks for this wonderful call to action! I’ve been thinking many of the same things for years and have recently begun to write about them to encourage other mothers to make their husbands a priority. It’s so easy to be sidetracked with caring for all the kids’ needs and letting hubby fend for himself. but in the long run, I’m convinced that we’re doing everyone (including our kids and ourselves) a disservice with this approach. A healthy marriage is one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids!