“True righteousness only ever begins when you come to the end of yourself. Only when God leads you to the place where you begin to abandon your own agenda and false righteousness, does true righteousness take hold. And only then can a passion for selfless service and true worship begin to grow in your heart.”
(Broken-Down House*, page 95)
One of the questions I have been asking myself lately is:
How can I come to the end of myself? What practical ways can I pursue selflessness and grow in a heart of worship for my Savior?
The quote from above struck a chord with me and drove home my suspicions that the only way that I am going to come to the end of myself is to grow in gratefulness and contentment. A common correction that Mark would graciously bring to my attention in 2010 was my heart that was prone to grumbling and complaint. When my heart was in this state, I would lack joy and my praises to my amazing God were few. Not to mention, my service and sacrifice for others was nonexistent.
At the family planning retreat this past December, I was reminded yet again that I needed a major heart change. Therefore, I have set out for 2011 to be the year of change. Of course, I can long for this and pursue a heart of gratitude and contentment all day long, but it will be the Lord who brings about any lasting change. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit would fill me up to overflowing with praise for my heavenly Father this year.
To pursue these virtues, one of the things I have resolved to do is keep a gratitude journal in which I will count my blessings. I want to fill page after page with both big and small blessings. I want my heart to be turned toward gratitude even in the mundane.
I believe through this exercise God will bring about amazing change … at least that is my prayer. I long to be a woman known for her gratitude and contentment in any and every circumstance.
Each month, I will record my blessings so you can see what I’m thankful for. I also hope to include pictures of my blessings as often as I can as well.
To catch you up here are some of my recorded blessings from this week:
#17 A husband who makes me feel like a priority regardless of what he has going on.
#18 A sister willing to pick up my milk and eggs on days when I am having a hard time at home.
#19 Friends who call just to check on me.
#20 Dust on my furniture – this means my priorities are in line and I’m putting my little boy before house work.
#21 Learning how to nurse Sammy while lying down. I got 5 straight hours of sleep this way!
#25 A marriage that only grows better with time.
#27 My freezer meals that allow me to make dinner all by myself!
#30 Privilege of reading good books in the wee hours of the morning while nursing my little man.
#32 Friend who sent a picture message of food she is preparing to bring to us this evening!
#35 A husband whose heart softens at the sight of his little boy.
To be continued …